once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”
horror movie synopsis
- white family moves into house
- the house got some shit in it
- family refuses to acknowledge that they got some shit in they house
- turns out that shit is some ultrashit
one thing i love about college is that everyone is so exhausted that nobody judges anyone for sleeping anywhere like
just rest your eyes
we’re all in this together
you are safe here
it will be ok
This is by far the cutest college post I have ever seen
'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.
You know what would be a really cool alarm clock, If it were Nick Fury from the Avengers, so when it went off it said “Wake up MOTHER FUCKER!!!” and when you pressed snooze it went “I acknowledge that you’ve made the decision to snooze, but given that it’s a stupid ass decision i’ve elected to ignore it” and just kept beeping.
Yep need it
I WOULD BUY THIS IN A HOT SECOND.